Till the curtain falls and they turn the light off
by LilyBartAndTheOthers
Summary: Nobody has to know


She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and plunged. She used to love doing that. Feeling the heat of the water on her body. Staying there, in a quiet world where the only sound she could hear was her heart beating. It was her own world, nobody could come. Just her. And her thoughts. She could feel her hair moving to the surface. Against her forehead. She felt safe, there. So safe…

She couldn't hold any longer and let her head go out. Breathless. The water was running on her face, falling down to her chest and disappearing on her legs. She needed to rest, to take a break. She was tired. And hurt. All those lies were killing her; and her soul. She would like to stay in her bath till the rest of her life. She wouldn't have to face the truth, so. If only… She looked away. Sad. Leaned her head backwards and closed her eyes again.

He was there, on her mind. He was always there, had always been there and she perfectly knew he would always be there. Whatever happens. Or don't happen. She hadn't chosen. Oh no… She had been surprised and confused when she had realized and accepted the flagrant truth. Anyway she had no choice. She could lie to herself but not relieve her feelings.

It was all impossible. They were different. Too different. He didn't look at her as she used to. She was nothing for him. It was obvious. She brushed her ring on her condemned finger. The jewel was so heavy on her heart. She was trapped in a life she didn't love. She had been wrong once. Just once. But it was too late and she had to pay for it. Now.

Her throat was hurtful. She bite her lips and prevented from crying. A tear. Just one. Going slowly down her face. So lonely on her skin, as she was in her soul. She could feel all the pain crossing her cheek to her chin. On that lonely tear. So small… So heavy.

He didn't know what to do. He didn't have to do anything. It would be a mistake. And he didn't want to lose her. His bed was so cold when he was thinking about her. He would like so much to take her in his arms. There. In his bed. A leg on her waist, his face against hers. And a kiss. On her hair. He would close his eyes and rest. With her.

Without a word. Without a look. They would stay like that and listen to their hearts beating; feeling the heat of their souls. Smiling because it was all they needed. Each other. She was so beautiful… Her hands, her eyes, her lips, her smile. She had a bright smile that made the stars green with envy. She was all for him. All. And nothing.

He had felt so lost when he understood. So confused. Why him ? Why her ? It just didn't make sense. Just didn't make sense. But his feelings saw it on a different way and he couldn't have held so long lying to himself. Sometimes life is strange. Like love. And we don't control the whole things. The whole story. His whole life.

But she was married. That ring separated them. Forever. She just would be a friend. His friend. Not his confidante. He didn't want to know her feelings, to share her secrets. Her thoughts. He was too afraid he could feel so hurt if he heard she was in pain. He couldn't bear it. He couldn't. So there would always be a distance between them.

But she was so close in his heart. She just didn't know it. And had no reason to. Her feelings were not the same as his. He had to accept it. And go on. In spite of all. For her. For her… He sighed. At least he could see her every day. And if by accident he didn't cross her eyes, in the morning, the afternoon or the evening… He just felt lost. Lost.

But he had to be careful. Very, very careful. Nobody had to know. Nobody. It could ruin his whole dreams. His hopes. And her life. He would never forgive himself. Never. He didn't want to hurt her. That would be the end for him and so he wouldn't have any reason to go on and wake up every morning. If she had to disappear.

She went out the bathtub and laid on her bed next to him; her mistake. He was sleeping… She turned the light off and closed her eyes. Lonely on her heart. She would like so much it was all different… She would like so much to be next to him now. And not to her husband. That man she wasn't in love whom. That man she didn't know and didn't wanted to know.

She was thinking about him all the time. Every hour, every minute, every second. He was her whole life. There, in her soul. She had dared to look at him, just once… Oh god, she felt so sorry. She hadn't had to. If only she could start it again. From the very beginning… And change all the things. She would feel better.

But she hadn't that power; that possibility. Life was more cruel for her and she just could accept it. Or drop it all. Forever… As she had ever thought before. Several times. To end up with that nightmare, that torture. What an attractive solution… But she would miss him so much. Too much… Too much.

Even if she couldn't touch him. Even if she couldn't kiss him. Even if she couldn't tell him the whole things her heart was shouting when she was with him. In silence. Always in silence. Because she couldn't. No, she couldn't. For him, for her, for the others. She just couldn't, had no right to. What if she lost him… Because of her…

He was just pretending in a play he wasn't sure to understand his real role. He perfectly knew his lines. All those lies. He had learnt how to hide his feelings, how to face reality. It had been his more difficult task. But he got it. While he had let his heart cry his failure and his dreams disappear deep inside the hole where his soul was agonizing.

He looked at the picture, on his bedside table. They were all there. Smiling. She was there. Next to him, like in his dreams. He caressed her face with his fingers. With so much care. He had never thought he could love someone as much as he did. Now. He plunged his eyes in hers. She was so close… So close… Too far.

He planted a kiss on her lips. With his fingers. « Good night… » He turned the light off and closed his eyes. Thinking about her. As usual. He would see her the day after. They had plan a lunch. Together. He had said he needed to speak to her. While he just needed to feel her presence next to him so that he knew what happiness could be.

And during a couple of hours he would be hers and she would be his. His dreams would become true. There would be no ring, no past, no wrong feelings. No lies. No pain. No loneliness. Nothing. Just her and him. Together. At last.

She saw him and smiled. Nobody has to know.  
He looked at her and felt happy. Nobody has to know.

« Wilma… »  
« Evil's mistress… »

The show must go on.  
Till the curtain falls and they turn the lights off.


End file.
